I like my sex mixed with concussions.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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