so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
