Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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