Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize