Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
