can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
