I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
