Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
