just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize