Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
