Too much gin, very little bucket
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize