when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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