I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
