don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
