whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
