i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
