For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
