and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I am morally bankrupt
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
