capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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