im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize