She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i now understand why vodka
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
