when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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