I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
