Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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