I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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