everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
3pm strippers are depressing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
