dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
