I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
