I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
