just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
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does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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