So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
