You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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