I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
