Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
