We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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