I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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