So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
