Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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