In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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