Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you had me at cake vodka
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize