period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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