Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
