I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
