Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
