Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
