Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I need to calm my uterus...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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