I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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