We're like a lot better than the average bears
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
