I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
In America we eat man semen.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
