3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
