dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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