Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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