Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
