...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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