I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
