I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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