girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
