Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize