My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
