Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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