so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
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WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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