Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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