we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
