Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
